Possession is...

There are times when I see and hear myself doing things and its as if I, the rational part of me has stepped out for a coffee and that which is left inside has gone about her own business, the business in question being to ruin my life. There is no rhyme or reason to it, it just sounds like a mighty fine idea at the time and so I run. It is times like that I suspect that I may actually be possessed.

How else would you explain it? I am physically present, listening to a person that sounds a lot like me saying things that really should be left unsaid, doing things that should not be done. Not to mention the follow through, the puppet then dances to whatever music is playing at the time and I look at the puppet from the outside and think...hmmm that marrionette looks an awful lot like me doesn't it? Its only after when all is said and done, when I come back into myself I look at the carnage around me and go...Oh...nice!

The thing is this is not an isolated incident, this is not a spur of the moment deal. Then again I have always said that my spur of the moment usually lasts a few days and its only afterwards when all is said and done that I take a look around at and say "What the hell was I thinking?" Why the hell did I do that? What possible reason could I have had? Actually scratch that, in the middle of doing whatever it is that I am plotting at the time, I tell myself, this is not good..don't do it. I scream at myself begging myself not to be a tit, but of course I override myself and be a tit anyway, because that's what tits do.

My life in enviable, there I admit it! There are people who want my life. So why is it that I do my best to sabotage it every chance I get?